Tired and Annoyed

I'm tired and annoyed for many reasons and sometimes I wish it was in my nature to be a total bitch.  My inability to have total disregard for others is costing me sleep and that's annoying as hell.  More tomorrow, I'm going to bed now.

Would You Believe?

Would you believe the reason I didn't post yesterday was because at least 100 pigs were blocking my street and I couldn't get to my computer?  Not to mention, I was in line at the DMV for half the day and on top of that detained by the police for questioning in a major crime the other half?  No?  Smart human.  The truth is I was busy working and I forgot.  I sent out more resumes, cleaned house, helped the kids at school and even managed to eat right the entire day.  Hmm... I did have a minor setback personally and was distracted by the mess for an hour or two.  Now that I've admitted that I guess I don't really have an excuse.  I could've posted then.  I'll get better.

Today, I continued the job search and researched what was needed to enroll my kids in school.  I have decided it's OK for me to be a little nervous.  My whole life is about to change and I really don't know how.  I am excited though and know for certain that I'm in good Hands.  Pray that I get a job soon so I can start knocking off some of the more costly stuff on my list.  Chat with you tomorrow.

Forgotten Password

It's been so long since I've posted, I actually forgot my password.  Really!?!  I think it's about time to call a spade a spade.  I may need to change my name to A Life Less Trifling!  In the past three weeks since I've posted, lots has happened.  First, Happy Belated Thanksgiving!  Second, darn Thanksgiving!  I have gained back all 8 lbs I lost so I'm back to square one.  My weigh day has changed from Thursday to Saturday and my projected goal day is now sometime in October next year.  Oh joy!

I have decided to look for a job in my hometown and move in with my mom for six to nine months.  More joy!  The good news is I'm becoming less and less afraid of everything.  I would've never thought about moving away three months ago but here I am.  I was really excited two weeks ago when I came up with the idea but then I realized that I would be staying with my mama.  Now, as mother's go, she's great.  But, she's still a mom and I'm grown.  I'm really not looking forward to her telling me her version of right everyday.  I did that already and then I went to college, graduated, started a family and... well to think of it. It hasn't ever really stopped but at least from here I don't have to answer the phone.  I figure you can do anything for six months.   Right?  It's not like it's jail time or anything like that.  Right?

Finally, I've gotten some insight on a couple of things.  Shame on me for not using the talents God has given me.  I talked to a friend today who is inundated with fear to leave his comfort zone which by the way is not all that comfortable.  In fact, it sucks.  However, it's what he knows and even though a better opportunity exists somewhere else, he refuses to take it.  He's afraid of the unknown.  Now,  I've gotten past the fear, and have known for some time that the sky is the limit for me.  Still, I'm no different from him really.  In some ways, I'm worse.  So, back on the wagon I get.  I will post here everyday from now on even if it's just to say hi or give the virtual finger to the man who took my parking space.  Jerk!  Until tomorrow...

We'll See

I now have dates and destinations for two of my extended family trips. I think. Only two siblings to include myself have actually signed on for each but I'm optimistic. I guess. It really is a good idea to get the family together so we can create lasting memories. Everyone will have a great time. I hope. We'll see.

I'm still on track with my one pound a week weight loss. I think. Still haven't quite gotten the hang of Beyonce's Single Ladies Video but I will. I guess. Today I signed up to do a 5K Walk/Run for Breast Cancer Awareness next October. I'll be able to run the whole 3.1 miles by then. I hope. We'll see.

I'm still pretty excited about my list. I think. It's harder than I thought it would be but I'll get through it. I guess. I keep telling myself that even though the planning process is not all that exciting, it'll get better as I start to cross things off.  All ending in a kick ass 40^th birthday party for the ages. I hope. We'll see.

Blown

1. adj. Informal really mad or upset about something.

That's me times three. Reason One: I did the laundry today. It's a thankless job which could explain why it only gets done every three to four weeks. Yes, I know it's silly. It makes life harder on me and the point I'm trying to get across is completely lost on its subjects. You can count (even if just for today) clean clothes as the second most thing that people take for granted. Number one? The person who cleans them. Imagine that feeling when you get out of a long, relaxing shower and step into a warm, cozy bathroom. Nice, huh? Now imagine walking to your chester drawer and realizing that you are all out of underwear. Not so nice. In fact, in this household, you would think the world is ending. That feeling must be equivalent to the pain of childbirth though in that my family seems to forget it every time they are confronted with bags of clean clothes. “We have to put all those clothes away?” Mind blown (2. v. Informal to overwhelm with intense astonishment or dismay).

Reason Two: I got pushed around today by a giant. There was little I could do except write a long dissertation describing why the action taken against me shouldn't have been. I have little hope that the decision will be overturned but that's not the worst part. Don't get me wrong. I was blown (3. adj. Informal upset) but it was drastically intensified by Reason Three: There was no one to console me.

You get used to certain things when you're in a bad marriage - the passing of one another like strangers, diminished communication, and doing things by yourself to name a few. However, when something upsets you, big or small, you never stop looking for that shoulder or reassuring voice. At that moment, you remember you're married. Then, in the very next moment you realize that it doesn't matter. Blown (4. adj. Informal unexpected bad feeling you get when things don't go as planned).

Ask and You Shall Receive

It seems that this blog is working. I met a doer today who I've known for over 30 years. I called to ask him a few questions and he immediately started working... for me. Surprising as I haven't exactly talked to him much or at all in the past 30 years. It didn't matter though. I asked. He could help so he did. It was almost too easy. I'm not the most trusting person in the world so I was taken aback. But then, I was inspired. I worked on my script all day, well, when I wasn't napping. I got a whole six hours of sleep today, a lifetime by my clock. I also got a taste of what it feels like to not put off till tomorrow. You know what? It's pretty good. I think I'll have some more.

Weigh Day

I weigh myself everyday to make sure I'm on track for the week but Thursday is the day that counts. It's my official “Weigh Day”. Yesterday I was down 1.8 lbs. A good start. Then I went grocery shopping at three different stores and birthday party scouting at four others. It was 1:30 p.m. before I realized that I had not even eaten breakfast. Still, I was somehow surprised when my phone rang at 1:50 reminding me that I needed to go pick up the kids. So I did.

Now when the kids get home, it's all about them. The Girl makes sure she tells you every part of her day from the moment you dropped her off until she gets back in the car. A self-motivator, she finishes her homework immediately. The Boy, on the other hand, only tells me about his day in depth to delay doing his homework. Then he wants to eat, go to the bathroom, relax, eat some more and go to the bathroom again before I calmly say, “DO YOUR HOMEWORK NOW!” He requires babysitting the entire time as he is only motivated to do the things that are fun or necessary to sustain life.

There are a series of things that happened before I went to sleep at 11 p.m but they are a blur right now. Mostly because I got up at midnight and was up until 4:45 a.m. My alarm, pesky self, doing its job, went off at 6:00 a.m. Thus starting a series of interruptions throughout the day that resulted in me getting a mere four hours of sleep as of this posting. Needless to say, I'm tired. I accomplished nothing today on my 40 B4 40 list and only half the things on my daily to do list. Weigh Day was a full day that hasn't really ended. But I did lose 1.8 lbs this week, so there's that.