The List

You would be surprised what you learn about a person from a list.  It doesn't matter if it's a grocery list or a daily to do list.  Each can give you a glimpse into a person's habits, lifestyle, and priorities.  This is especially true when you make a pre-bucket list.  I call mine 40 B4 40.  It's not filled with a bunch of outlandish and overly ambitious things like climbing Mt. Everest.  It's pretty mundane which gives you a clue as to what kind of life I've been living for the past 38 years... bland.

I'm a pretty passionate person so what happened to the spice?  It kept getting eaten up by fear.  Travel?  No thank you.  The plane might crash.  Concert?  Nah, too many people.  Produce another movie?  I don't know.  The first one didn't do what I had hoped.  It seems so silly now, completely irrational but the fear was real.   The good news is I'm no longer afraid.  Now I'm just easily distracted.  A major hurdle as my list is full of things that require long term commitment.

This is where you guys come in.  I need your help on the things for which I must start preparation now.  They include:

1. Getting back to a size 8 which will require me losing 40 lbs.

2. Finishing my script so I can start producing my movie.

3. Planning family trips with the extended families.

4. Planning three trips with my friends and sister.

5. Learning to do Beyonce's Single Ladies Video 

6. Doing a walk/run for a cause

7. Getting debt free

8. Attending two concerts one being the Black Eyed Peas

9. Learning one song on the piano

10. Planning my 40^th birthday party

11. Starting a garden

12. Seeing the Northern Lights

13. Learning to cook

14. Finding a church

15. Taking my son to at least one major sporting event


It's a challenge just to get everything scheduled on my calendar.  A task I have yet to complete.  I can't wait to get all of your suggestions and comments.  In the meantime, I'll keep working.

The Semi-Secret

My intentions were to keep this blog a secret from my family primarily because of the female parental units.  My mother and mother-in-law are old school and have strict rules about airing dirty laundry.  Don't.  Since the contents of this blog could quite literally kill them, I've decided not to tell them.  Let's face it, it's not like I can really afford the distraction of planning and attending two funerals plus the inevitable guilt that will ensue.  That being said, my followers right now are nonexistent and I need some accountability.  Thus I've told three people.  Now it's not so much a secret but a semi-secret.  The only thing is they aren't the commenting type.  So it will still seem like I'm all alone out here in Bloggerville.  I won't fret though.  I have a list to complete... well... start really.  Let me get to it.

APB: Doers

There are many reasons people get distracted from their good intentions, their work or taking a bath even.  Mine?  My marriage is a mess.  Now I'm not looking for any advice or sympathy or anything on that front.  It is what it is.  I'm looking for the people who are able to get it done (whatever "it" is) even though the world seems to be falling apart around them. The doers of life if you will.

I would've counted myself among them but recently I can't seem to see past the tears.  I am blinded by loneliness and uncertainty.  It takes me all day to do something that should take an hour, a week to do something that should take a day.  I don't have that kind of time to waste.  In 82 weeks I will be 40 and I have compiled this list of things to do before then.  I was so excited two weeks ago when I created it but I barely look at the thing anymore.  That's unusual.  It normally takes two months minimum for me to start slacking off and lose focus.

The thing is, I really want to do this list.  It's a hellava lot more fun than dealing with the failure that is my marriage.  Plus, I have two kids who are the joy of my life.  I want to be a part of their joy not this mopey mom who's always tired.   So, this is my All Points Bulletin to all the doers out there who are willing to help motivate and hold me accountable.  If you truly are the company you keep, it's time I meet some new folks.

I have four free hours a day during the week and am tired of spending half of them crying.  I don't let the rain stop me from driving.  I put on my wipers and go.  I know I haven't cried my last tear but I've got plenty of tissue.  It's time to wipe and do.